Aidan's Moods

There appears to be a perfect correlation between how busy we are and Aidan's mood swings. Tonight I was finishing up my latest draft and I could hear him throwing a fit downstairs. I went to the bottom of the stairs and asked him if he was unhappy that Mommy was working. He admitted he was, so I talked to him about it and then spent a little time with him. I'm sure it didn't help that Jason was too tired to entertain him. Once I got my work wrapped up and he made up with his Daddy, we had a pretty decent evening. I'm really looking forward to warmer weather. We need some outside time as a family.

As I get closer to proposal and the job market season is around the corner, I find myself fantasizing about our next adventures. Both Jason and Aidan want another baby. I just want a Ph.D. and a job, not so much the baby. For me, I think about how much fun it will be to interview in new cities, visit schools for Aidan, and go house hunting. I don't think Jason ever thinks about those things. He does good to think past lunch.

Aidan, on the other hand, asked me on Friday about moving. He brought up that the neighbors moved and his teachers left and then asked if he might get a new house. I said probably next year and he made it quite clear that he's not interested in having a new house. Of course, he hasn't seen the house yet. He's told me more than once he wants to live in Texas. His support is conditional.

Emotional Expressions

I was so proud of us this morning. Aidan learned a lot of lessons on how to handle his anxiety and stress. As we were getting ready for school, Aidan kept stalling. Asking for more breakfast and television led to crying and eventually kicking and hitting. After a defiant time out that led to additional time in the time out chair, it became very clear to me that Aidan was having some issues. He insisted that he did not want to go to school. Which is weird since he never wants to leave in the afternoons.

Once in the car, I pointed out that he is obviously sad about something at school. "Why don't you want to go? Did something happen? Everyone there loves you and wants to see you. Sometimes it helps if we use our words to talk about it." That's when he just said it, "Miss Betty and Miss Toby all gone." Of course! All the frequent turnover has made him anxious because he doesn't know who will be there when he gets there. You see, his regular teacher was out for six weeks on medical leave, which led to a temporary teacher coming in who has since been moved back to a permanent position. Miss Betty left recently because she needed more time for spiritual development. Miss Toby is leaving after next week because her parents are ill and need her to take care of them. Besides those teachers, there have been numerous part-time teachers in and out.

A few minutes after we had established the source of his anxiety, I asked him if he wanted to talk to his teacher about it. I explained that sometimes it helps to just talk about it so that she will know how he feels. I even offered to practice what he might say to her. His reply was, "No, Mommy, you tell her." I agreed and we talked to her when we got in. She was very happy that we were talking about it. She's such a great teacher. I know she'll probably work it into the lesson somehow. If he's having anxiety about it, they probably all are.

I was just so proud of him that he was able to not only figure out the source of his stress, but also was able to communicate it to me. I know adults that can't figure out why they are unhappy. For me, one of the most important lessons is how to recognize and handle emotion in a socially appropriate way. I think that he's doing pretty well for 2 1/2.

BTW: Sorry Token, I couldn't find a link to the Freud doll.

On Being Scared of Bad Guys

Our little guy enjoys being scared. When Nana cleaned out the upstairs over the weekend, we found Jason’s Sigmund Freud doll and Aidan was terrified. Just to toy with his fears, he’d go over to the drawer, peek into it, and then run away from the doll as if it had jumped out at him. His teacher told me that he’s taught every kid in his class to be scared of monsters and that the kids have developed a little game of imaginary monster chasing. I told the teacher about his being afraid of Freud and she laughed as she said, “Well, who isn’t?”

Tonight we caught the movie Hook on TV. It was a little over his head, but he was fascinated. He has seen other references to Peter Pan, so he watched very closely. He was carefully considering who was bad and who was good based on not only their behavior in the movie but also their facial expressions. In the first scene with the pirates, he declared that Noah must be a pirate. Whenever the commercial came on he’d cry that the movie was over and I’d have to convince him that it would be back on.

When the movie went past 9:00, I decided it probably wouldn’t go past 9:30 and let him stay up. At 10:00 it occurred to me that the movie was going to run until 11:00, so at the first available commercial break I took advantage of his naiveté by telling him that the movie was over and we’d be able to watch it tomorrow. I’ve never done that before and I figure that I’ll be totally screwed tomorrow when he asks to watch it. Jason says that although he’ll certainly remember to ask for the movie, it’s likely he won’t be as attached tomorrow and I’ll be able to distract him pretty easily.

This Busy Life

When Aidan's teacher greeted me this morning with, "Well, there's the busy lady" I have to admit that I felt a little self-conscious. The sting of trying to balance career and family has been quite strong lately. I've been working long hours to get the dissertation in good shape so that I can schedule the proposal. I was able to get the latest copy out the door on Friday so that I could relax this weekend.

Aidan was in heaven. Mommy and Daddy were both home and no one was working upstairs. Nana came to visit. It snowed about 3 inches. We burned a fire in the fireplace all weekend and even roasted marshmallows in the living room. To top it off, we went to Gattitown last night. Aidan wanted to go to Chuck E. Cheese but I insisted that we try Gattitown because some other moms had talked it up. You should always just trust the toddler on these little things. We'll be going back to Chuck E. Cheese the next time.

In true Nananator fashion, she swept in to my house and got me all organized. Since I am so busy with my work right now and often feel very overwhelmed, I feel so much more sane when she comes to help out. She kept Aidan while Jason and I went to Entree Vous to make dinners for the week. She washed, dried, and folded our laundry. And then, to top it all off, she helped me clean out our storage room. The upstairs is as spotless as the downstairs. I'm feeling so sane right now. If only I had a full day spa visit and a professional to edit the dissertation. Then I would be elated!

Getting Back to Normal

This week has been rather hectic and we're all just trying to settle in. Things are getting back to normal for Aidan at school with his teacher being back from medical leave, Jason is back from California, and I'm settling into dissertation mode once again. Last night we had a night out while Aidan went to play with his friend. They really seemed to have a great time together and Aidan cried a lot when we had to go. He was pretty wound up when we got in around 9:30 and he ended up going to bed around 11 PM. At least he slept in this morning. I think we're going to just skip nap today so that he'll go to bed early enough to get up for school in the morning.

We watched the Kentucky vs. Florida game last night. Aidan heard Jason and me discussing Noah, Florida's premier player. I guess Aidan took notice because he's heard about Noah at school. We had to explain that it wasn't the same Noah that collected the animals. Maybe he gets it, I'm not sure.

Daddy's Coming Home!

Jason called this morning as he was boarding his plane out of Palm Springs. I can't wait for him to get home. I've gotten very little work done since he left and really need to get moving on this dissertation. Everyday that I don't turn it over to my advisor, the proposal gets pushed back further and further. I'd hate to be a single parent. I don't know how people do it.

We tried to talk to Rebecca via video on the computer last night. There were some problems that we couldn't figure out but Uncle Todd says he'll help us fix our firewall. We were able to see them when they called and they were able to see us when we called but we couldn't get both videos to work at the same time. Aidan was crying whenever he couldn't see Rebecca and then he just got bored with all the technical talk about what to try next, so he was running around and climbing all over me. Not so easy to figure it all out with an impatient toddler hanging on your arm. I do think that once we get it all figured out Aidan will love it. He seemed to really be into it for the few minutes we were able to see them.

Yesterday at school Aidan ate pink snow cream. The color of the week is pink, so they took advantage of the snow for a learning opportunity. It's all he talked about. I told him about how Nana used to make snow cream for me when I was little and how I made it for Daddy when we first met. It's the first thing Jason wants whenever we get snow. I know that snow cream is something Nana's dad made for her when she was small too. It's so funny how these things get passed down without even realizing it.

When I'm a Big Boy

Lately Aidan has been planning all the things he'll get to do when he's a big boy. We've been watching a lot of America's Funniest Home Videos lately and he constantly sees things he wants to try someday. Tonight he saw something on there and said, "Mommy, when me a big boy I want to play that game. Mommy play and me." I asked him what the game was and he replied, "Tennis!" Yesterday he saw a few minutes of the Superbowl and said, "When me a big boy, I run with the football like those boys." Luckily, it's all sports related and not something crazy.

Today Aidan's teacher was back in class. I'm so relieved. I think Aidan was too. He ran right over to his seat and started his craft. When I picked him up he said he wanted to tell his friends goodbye, so he went around and hugged each of them. It was incredibly sweet. His regular teacher really "gets him" in a way that none of the other teachers seem to. Aidan seems to know this. He was so much more relaxed this afternoon than usual. I've been told that she'll be there part time this week and full time next week. Thank goodness.

After school we went to the craft store and bought a few items for making art at home. It's so cold right now that I don't want to get him out and we've been pretty bored at home. Plus I feel like we watch entirely too much television when we are housebound. We looked at all the foam sticker sets until we settled on a marine animal theme. I tried to get him interested in jungle animals but he kept saying he was too little for those because "tigers are scary." I don't know where this came from since he talks about tigers and dinosaurs and such all the time. I didn't try to figure it out. We just went with the fish. We made under water murals on construction paper. I had to keep reminding myself that it doesn't matter if his creation doesn't look much like I'd like.

Recently Jason and Aidan found this video online of an octopus eating a shark. I'm not sure that Aidan realizes that the octopus is eating the shark, I think he thinks they are just wrestling or something. In our construction paper murals we first placed docile animals like fish, seahorses, and crabs. Then Aidan had to put sharks on there because the sharks were "going to eat the fish." When he put the octopus on the mural he placed it directly on top of the shark. That video has made quite and impression!

I'm already eager for Jason to come home. I'm cold and tired and getting a little grumpy about it. Aidan keeps saying that he's cold. He even told me that he wanted warm water to drink. Of course, the water is coming out of the tap colder than out of the fridge. We're in a deep freeze while Jason is in the desert! Calgon, take us away to someplace warm!

Aidan's Half Birthday

As I woke up this morning I could hear this little voice humming "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." It was the cutest thing ever! Sometimes I just cannot stand how cute he is. I must have been a very bored person before I met him. I mean, I love Jason and all, but never has he been as adorable as Aidan.

Jason was on his way out today again, so we were busy trying to get ready for our time apart. Today was Aidan's 2 1/2 birthday, so we had half a cake. I'm not sure Aidan understood the half birthday, but he understood that there was cake. He ate three pieces of cake the first time we ate it at his afternoon nap. Then, after dinner, he said sort of as an afterthought, "Mommy, I need food." I offered apples. "Nope!" "Bananas?" "Nope!" "Raisins?" "Nope! Mommy, I need cake, please!" Yes, he had that on his mind all along-- way back when he casually mentioned that he needed food. As Jason was leaving I was very concerned about being here with a cake, thinking that the responsibility of eating it would fall to me. Little did I know, I'll have to eat it to save my darling son from it. Although I may just let him eat it. As long as he's eaten more nutritious foods first and brushes his teeth really well, it'll hurt him less than me.

Tonight we built a fort in the living room. They seemed so much bigger when we were kids. I think that was what prompted him to ask for food since we were sitting in the fort when he asked and then we ate our cake in the fort. Even Simon joined us inside our hideout.

Speaking of hiding out, we enjoyed a very humorous game of hide-and-go-seek today too. First of all, he gets too excited to really remember how to count to ten, so he gets confused and it comes out more like, "three, nine, ten, eleven, four, eight, ten!" Then he will go to a place where he thinks I am hiding, creep up to it, and then jump to look with his hands up as if he's 100% sure that I'll be there. I'm usually not. When he does find me it's the greatest thing ever. When it's his turn to hide he will hide in exactly the same place I hid. This makes it sort of easy, so of course, I run around every room calling out for him. Unfortunately for him, he gets so excited when I get close that he'll do one of several things: he'll giggle uncontrollably; he'll jump out at me and scream, "Here I am!"; or he'll just call out to me to tell me where he is as if he believes that I really am having a lot of trouble finding him.

Overall I'd say we had a really fun time together today. Although he did get two time outs after Daddy left. He likes to test the waters right away when Daddy leaves. This really makes no sense to me in our family, I think it must just be biological. I mean, if one of us was the primary disciplinarian, I'd be able to understand his tests. But really, we both discipline him and I probably do so more than Jason does just because my boundaries of behavior are stricter than Jason's. Oh well, he'll just continue to get time outs until he starts behaving.

Teaching Social Skills

Tonight we are hosting Aidan's little friend for the evening. Aidan has asked several times to have friends over to play, so we set up a deal with some friends from our old playgroup that we'd watch theirs while they go out this week and then we'll switch next week. Aidan's friend is 5 months older than Aidan. I'm not entirely sure if it's the age difference or if Aidan is just poorly behaved, but it's been an interesting evening.

First of all, Aidan is aggressive when he decides he doesn't want to share. My take on it is that when they are playing with the other kid's toys next week, the tables will turn and the other kid will be possessive of his own stuff. Jason is concerned that our child is just aggressive. I have to say that, in general, he shares pretty well when we've had him in other situations. I really feel that it's just the fact that they are his own toys. A few more times of sharing his toys with friends and I think he'll be a different child. At least, I hope so.

Another general difference, that I think I can chalk up to age, is Aidan's remaining baby characteristics. Whenever Aidan has gotten hungry or irritated, he cries and whines. Whenever his friend has an issue, he just tells us. I'm looking forward to not having to constantly remind Aidan to ask instead of cry. Of course, the friend's five months has awarded him with excellent verbal skills that Aidan has yet to master.

Hopefully Aidan will say he enjoyed playing with his friend and we'll have him over again. It's really been easy to have them both, with the exception of Aidan's poor behavior. Honestly it makes me want to have this kid over more often so that Aidan can learn to share and play together. Jason made the comment that since Aidan's teacher is still out on leave, things may be out of control there and Aidan may not be getting proper social training there. Again, something we'll just have to work through. It's just so hard to deal with in your toddler.

Busy, Busy!

No big news on the little guy for this week. We've been getting loads of snow and it's expected to snow until next Thursday, so I'm sure we'll be doing lots of stuff outdoors. This morning he was up bright and early. When I told him there was snow he said, "We'll play in the snow at school!" He's very excited that his regular teacher, who is on medical leave and due back mid-February, will be coming to see his class next week for a few hours. We're happy about it too.

I think that Aidan is adjusting pretty well overall to my working so much, as well as Jason's being gone and then back again. What he doesn't know is that Jason is on his way out of town again and then will have at least one more trip before our trip to Todd's wedding in March. He also is completely unaware of my situation with the dissertation and how much I'll be working between now and mid-March. Our lives are just so crazy and he is really hanging in there. Kids are so resilient!

I wish there was more to share. Mostly we've been cold and staying inside. We play and watch TV. I can't wait until warm weather so that we can go to the park!